The Treat of the Trade

  One of my favorite bands from the 90's is Candlebox. And with the bad sweater and horrible perm i was so proud of sporting in 1991, the picture of my 90's self won a radio contest and I got to see them at a private event where they performed for probably...50-60 people.  So I took my favorite little 90's spirit child and we fan girled out all night long! We had an absolute blast and I look forward to many many more concerts with her!

We are off to a some what rocky start to the 2018-19 school year. With that being said I am pretty sure teenagers are some what demons in disguise. We have a 17 year old who has desperately wanted to be an adult for a majority of her childhood. If she would only calm down and realize being an adult is no where near as fun as it looks. We don't doubt she will some what make it in society, so we are allowing her--with limitations--to spread her wings. She isn't "on her own" as she is still living under a roof with adult supervision and rules and structure. But she is no longer living with her dad and I. Per her choices and decisions, we are allowing this to happen. She is very rude and disrespectful to her father and I. We will probably never understand why she chooses to act the way she does and say the things she says, but we are backing up and letting her be the adult she so desperately is seeking within herself. I hope she finds it and the adult version of herse...

My little sister is 35 years young today!  Happy Happy Birthday to the best little sister I could ask for! Love you!

My husband surprised me with new wheels for Mother's Day this year. I was totally surprised by the gift and it's everything I have wanted in a car! Thanks Love!

  Goodness what a difference 9 months can make! We started the school year off with new clothes, haircuts, new shoes and a new outlook on the new school year.    First full week of summer and we have already logged in 20 hours at the pool. And we only went 4 days! I love laying in the sun and catching rays. I also love jumping in to the water holding hands with my son (but no one ever gets pictures of that) Me and the girls relaxing and unwinding after a busy school year. We can finally sit back and put our feet up for a bit.  Here's to many more sun catching, water splashing days at the pool for Summer 2018! Happy Monday!

We are 7 1/2 school days away from another summer. I will have a 4th grader, an 8th grader and a Senior next year. I am wanting to slow down and enjoy all things summer this year. I want to disconnect from social media more and take a few more road trips. I want to spend more one-on-one time with each of my kids. I want to be in more pictures with them and not just car selfies. During the school year we are busy and I forget to slow down. I have had that as a "new years resolution" for many years now and I just forget that it's ok to slow down and stop. I need this. For my sanity. For my health. For my kids. My junior brought home a book of everything we are to do for senior year and I was tired after reading the first 2 pages. I mean good grief. Can the school system not give these kids a break? We have deadlines to meet starting in July. And as much as we will try to get it all done, it will be around our schedule. Because I enjoy our afternoons at the p...

    This. This made me cry. I joke to my husband that I need a magnet on my car that says "MOM TAXI". I get we are the ones that signed the kids up for this or that or said yes when they wanted to do this that and the other, but man o man I can put some miles on my car in one week. Fortunately, we have a 3rd driver in the house and she is able to drive herself to school and practices and run by the store for me if need be. I don't dump the other 2 on her to get them anywhere unless I am tied up with another kid or in bed ill and even then I still get up and mom.   Our whole city is under construction and I am convinced that is the reason my blood pressure has escalated over the last few months. Fighting school zones and school traffic and then fighting all the traffic from all the detours can make a mad woman crazier!   I recently purchased a car humidifier/essential oil diffuser and the lavender seems to be helping. Helping me stay cool calm...

  I have had some tough situations thrown my way in life. One thing I know I can be proud of is the bad situations that have been thrown at me have never been my excuse to treat someone poorly. Not even a stranger. And damn sure not someone I love and respect. With that being said, I have been stressed these past few days trying to wrap my mind around why people act the way they do. Why someone can claim they do things to make me happy and act as if I will love them any less if they "fail". So they overwhelm themselves and can't handle life when it gets a little rough. Nothing is their fault and everyone else is to blame. They are the only ones going thru this and no one in the history of ever has gone thru anything remotely hard. Give me a break. I know people dealing with much more stressful situations. These people are a lot younger, some are older, and even they don't put blame on others for the situations life has thrown their way. I am here to lend a helpin...

It's a rare thing for me to be in front of the camera. As we haven't had "professional" photos taken since 2010. But, as long as I dress my family up and take my camera along, I can have anyone snap a quick photo. 4th of July 2017 was a good day.       HAPPY JULY!!

  *i usually leave anything "step-mom" related off this blog, but I felt like sharing this today*             "Step-moms are by NO means trying to take credit for carrying a baby for nine months and taking part in the birthing process. We get it. We are not the bio-mom. However, we are in a mothering role and we deserve to be recognized" - Unknown       When I was younger I pictured myself as a mom to 4 boys. A huge house with holes in the walls from the 4 rowdy boys. No one ever grows up thinking..."I cant wait to be a step-mom!" It never crossed my mind in my younger years.   Fast forward many years later when Josh and I met. He came with 3 beautiful girls. WHOA!! That was a lot to take in! I was just a girl in my late 20's, divorced, no kids, and just flying by the seat of my pants. Living life carelessly and the way I wanted to. And then we feel in love. I feel in love with Josh...

    School let out May 26. In the time that school has been out we have logged in 31 hours at the pool Our bathroom is completely remodeled Our skin is sun-kissed Our oldest wrecked her car Our nights are longer And our town received more rain in one afternoon than it has in one year   Even though summer hasn't officially started, we have officially started and cant wait for more hours at the pool and maybe sneak in some road trips here and there!         HAPPY SUMMER! HAPPY FRIDAY!

The original post you will read below was written about a toxic dad and how you are brave if you walked away from the relationship. I didn't have a toxic dad. I do however have a toxic mom. Who wasn't always this way. I mean when I was younger she was an OK mom. She was still shady and lied to my dad a lot, but when I was little she kept me alive so, that's something. When I reached 12 I can't pinpoint exactly what made her change from being an OK mom to being a nightmare mom. But she would pick fights with me, I couldn't EVER have a normal relationship with friends. Whether they were girls or boys. She just had a distrust in me as soon as I hit 6th grade. (and yes you are probably thinking...o you were just a hormonal teenager. No. No I wasn't. Shit literally hit the fan with her and I when I turned 12) At 38 I still struggle with wrapping my mind around what is wrong with her. Fast forward to 2000 when my dad p...

  "Step-moms are by no means trying to take credit for carrying a baby for nine months and taking part in the birthing process. We get it. We are not the Bio-mom. However, we are in a mothering role and we deserve to be recognized." -- Unknown   I don't need anyone to like how I do things, except for these 2 girls right here. I couldn't care less what their moms think of me, what their moms families think of me and what their moms friends think of me. I am pretty fucking amazing without any of their opinions. At the end of the day all that matters is that MY 2 daughters love and respect me. And I have that. Every.Single. Day. With no help from the bio-moms or their families, the girls have learned to love and respect me on their own. Has it been easy for one of them? No! But I can guarantee that she has way more love and respect for me than she does her own mom. The woman that wanted to bring her into this world, now has a dau...

  At the end of her 4th grade year, almost 2 years ago, her dad told her she was going to play the violin when she went in to the 5th grade. She was NOT happy about it. We rented her violin her first year, just in case her stubbornness won. In 5th grade she was head violinist. Meaning she lead the group and helped tuned others instruments and showed kids the proper way to hold a bow and the violin. She was the first 5th grader in Amarillo to preform a solo for the Greater Southwest Music Festival. Her teacher was on cloud 9 all year at how great Jessie played. Her teacher called me one day to tell me her private lessons have paid off! Confused, I said, this was the first year she's ever picked up a violin. Piano lessons is all she's had. Her teacher was convinced that the piano helped so she wanted us to put her in Preparatory Strings with the Amarillo Youth Symphony the last semester of 5th grade. Fast forward to 6th grade, she has her very own violin and she is ...

....lift the seat when you pee! ....lower the seat after you pee! ....wipe the pee off the toilet! ....get your dirty underwear out of the bathroom floor! ....have you even brushed your teeth this week? ....have you showered since Sunday? ....where does all this sand and rocks come from? ....why are there so many of your dirty socks ALL over the house? ....stop licking the cat! ....quit spanking your sisters! ....i love you more! ....you cant have ice cream for dinner every night! ....shut the door when you use the bathroom! ....how is there so much dirt under your nails? ....i love you mostest! ....you will always be my little boy! ....you cant ride the dog! ....did you eat that bug? ....you can't bring the bug in the house! ....yes, you have to go to school everyday! ....share! ....how many Lego sets do you need? ....why does it smell in your room? ....you're my favorite little boy! ....cat food is not people food! .......

  I need to print this and hang it on every wall in my house. I CAN do anything my heart desires, but I CAN NOT, however, do everything.  I try to get it all done in one day. I won't let people help me. I feel overwhelmed. Then the process starts all over again the next day. It's a vicious cycle.   Stress is an ugly word and a word that is thrown around so loosely here lately. 13 year olds that talk about being stressed out on social media make me laugh. I mean, they have NO IDEA what the hell stress is. I have even stopped watching the news at home to avoid stress and questions the kids have that I am not ready to answer. There is seriously nothing good going on in the world. If there is, it isn't being talked about.   I have become so consumed with being super-mom, super-wife, super-woman that I have forgotten who I actually am in the process. My husband, my poor husband. He works hard. Harder than most men I know who "work hard". He's ...

I didn't carry her under my heart for 9 months. I didn't go thru all the pains of labor with her. I did welcome her into my life when she was 8 years old. I am carrying her in my heart for the rest of my life. I have said before..."I didn't make you, but I am molding you" Jill, I seriously am in shock and aww at the beautiful, smart, mature, witty, nerdy young lady you are becoming. You have brought a lot of joy into our lives. 16 is a big deal with great responsibilities. But its also a hard time for me. Although I think you are ready to take on the world----a part of me wants time to stand still. I have some advice for you as you turn the BIG 16: * Go do GREAT things * Keep kicking ass at what you love * Slowdown on your turns * Don't text and drive * Don't rush-Don't speed-Buckle up! * Play Lego with your brother-always * Keep making dumb videos with Jessie as long as you can * I would say---stop stressing me out, but I am a mom a...

I took a Social Media Cleanse a few days ago. I logged off of Facebook and Instagram. And I cant even begin to tell you, that even though i only made it 48 hours, it was a great feeling to not be so controlled by my phone and refreshing news feed all day long. It gets stressful at times. Keeping up with everyone's dirty laundry, minute by minute status updates, check-ins...well you get the idea.  And the minions! OMG the minions!! (they didn't say all that stuff!)  I didn't "clean up" my friends list. So no one was cut from my life! :) But I paid more attention to what my husband and kids had to say. For the first time in a long time i can actually remember some of the jokes from a few stand up comedy shows the hubby and i watched while he was home.  I wasn't on my phone while having quality time with Josh and the kids. I noticed that when I did log back on, my mood changed. Not so much for the good either. I became irritable and just moody. I was...

  AHHHHH! Parenting. Parenting your own kids. Parenting step-kids. Parenting is hard ya'll! I don't care who you think you are, you don't have it figured out either. You might think you do, I mean your kids are still alive, as are mine but we seriously have no idea what we are doing. And I am pretty sure my parents had no clue what they were doing either. They turned out fine. I think anyway.   I am not my kids friend. I'm not a drill sergeant though either. Although they probably think I am Hitler's sister, I am not that bad! I parent first. Josh parents first. We struggle sometimes on if we are making the right decisions, like I am sure all parents do. So what if your kid gets mad at you and hates you and cusses you in their mind and talks horrible about you to their friends. Who cares! I mean SERIOUSLY?! WHO CARES?? They will one day move out on their own and maybe then .... just maybe....they will realize why you did the things you did. T...

(I copied this list from another blog I read....the ones that are all in bold I already do.) If I could do it all again, I’d: 1. Give myself permission to  not  be on call 24/7. By permission, I don’t mean disappearing, or for long, drawn-out periods. But I  do  mean handing over the reins of parenting more often, so I keep in touch with who I am in addition to being a parent. 2. Let the laundry pile up. Because, let’s be honest, nobody is going to fire me. 3. Enjoy a regular date night with my husband. Away from home if possible, but if we can’t, at least pretend we are. 4. Swing on the swings with the kids. Fun is more fun when your mother is having it too . 5. Make fewer to-do lists. Though I might feel as if I’m accomplishing something, I’m only writing down what I already know. 6. Sleep more, better, longer. 7. Worry less, better, shorter. 8. Be less grumpy about the state of my kids’ rooms. They’ll be empty far too soon. 9. Take ti...